Him: “And what does that mean?” Hmm? That’s a damn good question. I look at him, he looks at me. Two adults who have had and almost fully raised two children and we have no idea how to answer this question, not even me…

I make a decision there and then that I’ll go to the doctor and stability starts to return. The doctor is a professional. He’ll know what to do. He knows what he’s doing and will tell me what’s going on. It feels strange. Is it not my body? Do I really need a professional to explain it to me? I feel somewhat helpless. “Should I come with you?” he asks. “Well, I’m not sick,” I answer. Is that true?

The doctor confirms it, I’m not sick. Menopause is completely normal. Blah blah blah. Not for me. I will get more symptoms, such as hot flushes – just wonderful, right in the middle of summer.

And then there’s the sex thing. He and I have been together for 20 years. Sometimes more, sometimes less sex, sometimes better, sometimes worse. We have gone through pregnancies and children, stolen minutes and hours away at all kinds of places. For the first time in years, we have time for each other again. We have morning sex again!

And now here’s another obstacle that we’re going to have to deal with, that I’m going to have to deal with.

My doctor recommends some reading material to me, talks about a new phase of life, a change that’s more than just physical. I’m just tired and want everything to stay as it was.

When I come home, he’s there. In the middle of the day. He’s taken the day off and is waiting for me. He’s spent all morning reading about the menopause. Then he takes my arm and I start crying. A bit like with my first period. Back then, I cried on my mother’s shoulders. Or during my first pregnancy. Everything was different and new and I wasn’t ready. My first period was almost 40 years ago and since then, my body and I have been through so much. I now wear the scars and signs of the times with a different kind of ease, even with pride and love. And when I think about it, I now know what’s most important. I have to listen to myself, understand my body and my needs and be kind to myself – physically, mentally and spiritually, I need to let myself be me. I’ll help myself to be helped and go along with this new chapter of my story, which will be part of me like all the others before it.