Hot flushes – A testimonial

I’m standing in front of my colleagues and finally have the chance to present my idea, when it happens. I feel the heat spreading through me, as if someone has set off a firework inside me. It’s nothing new. First I’m a bit queasy and then gradually, I become warmer and warmer from the inside. Only a few seconds left and the hot flush will start to show on the outside.

I start sweating and my face gets red and blotchy. My scalp is glowing. First I start to stutter, lose track of things and look into the helpless eyes of my colleagues. The confusion that slowly turns into second-hand embarrassment is written on their faces. I babble something about that “I just have to…” and then I run out of the room, quickly to the toilet and into one of the cubicles.

Now I’m sitting on the toilet with the lid closed and wheezing. I gradually try to get my breathing back under control. Breathe in, breathe out… bit by bit, I calm down. My temperature too.

Outside, I stand in front of the mirror and look at the red blotches, watching them slowly fade. I go into my office and let the secretary know to tell my colleagues I have to go home. Nobody is used to seeing me out of control here, or even weak. Maybe tomorrow we can act as if nothing happened.